Saturday, 6 December 2008

Feeling Content

Yes, I know. I haven't written here for a while. There seem so many other things to do at the moment like reading flabby Nineteenth Century novels by Charles Dickens and George Eliot for example, and cleaning the house constantly, turning around and it looking no better than when you started, and waking up in the middle of the night because I suddenly panic that I haven't sorted out Christmas yet. You know the sort of stuff. However, I am feeling so much better in myself.... in fact I am actually feeling content at the moment. This is a very rare thing for me to say, and I am a bit dubious to talk about it, being mildly supersticious that once you say that you are feeling good, or happy or another of the plethora of positive emotions that a person can feel, it is suddenly dashed away from you again. But there it is. I am feeling content.

Makes a change from depression I can tell you. Depression and all the negative emotions that follow from it are yucky and they are destructive too. They don't just destroy the person feeling them, they go a long way to destroying those around them too. Those people you need most. It is also very good at destroying other stuff too. Jobs and careers as it is difficult to get your head out of the sand and get on with what you need to, lifestyles, you need a job and also you need to be in control of your finances which a lot of depressed people cannot do due to having their head firmly embedded in the sand.

But this contentedness. What is it and where on earth did it come from? I am not really sure I have an answer. It is like a switch has been flicked in my head. It is like rooting your feet into the ground when you practice yoga and saying 'I am here and that is that'. The Italians have some good and consise ways of expressing these things. They say 'basta' which means, 'enough' but it is much more final and defiant than the word enough. It just is enough and there is nothing more to be said. The other one I really like is 'cosi', which means 'so' or 'like this' in English and quite often you will hear Italians here saying 'é cosi' or 'it's like that' or 'it's just so' and that's it. Thats the way it is. Basta! or punto. which means full stop. Maybe it is infectious and I am picking it up from the Italians, the longer I live among them. Probably this is very likely as I am finally figuring out it is best to ask questions, listen to answers and if you can't change something 'é cosi' and that is that. You can choose how you react to stuff, and more importantly you can chose whether you react to stuff or not. That's it. Simple.

Yeah, well maybe not THAT simple but it is good to voice it and acknowledge that you do have a choice isn't it and maybe in the same way we practice something like yoga or another hobby we can practice choosing how we react. We might not always get the results we want and we might not get it right all of the time, but being aware of something is a pretty good first step on the road to changing something, or not changing something at all but learning to live with it and be content.


  1. Hey :)
    I'm *so* pleased you have reached a place of contentedness. I've literally read 10 pages of a book called 'Buddhism for mothers' I get the feeling you might like it..

    Wishing you contentment and happiness,
    mrs G x

  2. Mrs Green, How nice to see you here!! That book sounds really good. However I am currently reading my way through (besides other things- see above!!) The Book of Rubbish Ideas by a one Ms Smith that you recommended on your blog so the Buddism for Mothers may have to wait!! So thanks for that. Also you always seem like a rather contented soul yourself. :-)

  3. Oh, do enjoy the book of Rubbish ideas. Mrs A from The Rubbish Diet has a book coming out around July time too - so there will be plenty to keep you busy. :)

    Funny about the appearing to be contented thing; I can relate more to the depression side of things. But then I feel that if you know what depression is, the contented side of life has even more meaning because you've been in the darkness; if that makes any sense LOL!

  4. So pleased to read that you have found contentment. I love the 'e cosi' bit. :-) I have a feeling that I could be making lots of use of this over Christmas! ;)

  5. So pleased you are feeling better Indiebird, what you write makes a lot of sense. My adopted phrase is "whatever", it sorts of sums things up nicely for me. I even managed to find a mug with it printed on :0) xx

  6. Shhh, Mrs Green if my dh could see that you were encouraging me to read more books he might consider taking away my broadband!! ;-) Also when is the 'My Zero Waste Book' coming out??

    Contentment is a strange thing and I think that you do appreciate it when you have experienced the depression side of things. Both equally hard to explain to others, but I will carry on trying!!

    Alex the 'é cosi' thing comes in very handy because there are loads of things that you just cannot change. The thing you can change though is how you react to stuff and just acknowledging that things are as they are is very helpful.

    I used to use 'whatever' quite a bit until ds started using it on me and I didn't like to be told 'whatever' when what he really needed to do was tidy his room or do his homework! He has now adopted (among other things!!!!!) a very strange shaking of his hand right in my face which the Italians use to basically convey 'shut up and go away you stupid person'..... I am trying very hard to ignore him as you can imagine!